Queen of Dreams

Little bird, I'll set you free.

2012-02-01T17:09:00.001+08:00

Author's note: Please read in an accordingly positive voice.

(like my insanely colourful tie dye dress?)

It's one of those days where all music sounds great, my sister and cousins loose all their annoying qualities, homework is little, my phone battery isn't dying, and I start blogging like I've been injected with some chick lit. I'm not even slightly depressed about the low quality blog posts I've been posting up lately. The gods know why I'm so positive, and I would tell you why if I knew it myself.

In other news, tomorrow will be our first hi-tea meeting and we are ex.ci.ted. Uzeir and Kirtana will be leading the "pengkhususan kerja" as Li Zen so aptly put, followed by "if you give me any post, the whole hi-tea will hancur". I don't know about that, since we're especially driven to make it the best hi-tea possible after a year's worth of "you guys better top last year's hi-tea". The fund raising shirts (that's what I'm calling them), if you're curious, have almost pass the first stage - Pn. Lim's approval. The last draft will be sent to her tomorrow, which will be sent to the sponsoring college. The rest, you will have to wait and see.

Also, signature drive is this week! (Medium) Yong gave me legislation to take control over Zain's. Bwahahaha I am going to have a lot of fun with this. Zain asked me just now why all the seniors are passing over the signatures to the juniors to handle. The answer is quite simple - because the form 4 batch this year is easily one of the most evil AND fun batch everrrrr. The evil part is probably just Jasmine and I though. *high 5* But we might lose to our seniors in this race. This year's signature drive is tough. I pity the juniors, though they seem to be faring pretty well even in these conditions. Well, good luck to them!

Back to anime!
Love, Nathalie.

What the Effie.

2012-01-29T18:36:00.001+08:00

AND FOR THE LAST TIME. HOMEWORK HAS NO PLURAL.

~~I checked.~~

P.S. If you haven't heard, Scotland won WSDC. Malaysia lost to Australia in the octo-finals.

The Mortal Instruments

2012-01-27T20:50:00.000+08:00

Antonio: Will you stay no longer? Nor will you not that I go with you?
Sebastian: By your patience, no. My stars shine darkly over me; the malignancy of my fate might, perhaps, distemper yours; therefore I shall crave of you your leave that I may bear my evils alone. It were a bad recompense for your love to lay any of them on you.

- William Shakespeare, Twelfth Night.

I just finished the third book of the Mortal Instruments trilogy - The City of Glass - but truthfully, it isn't a trilogy at all. I'm just dying to read the fourth book - The City of Fallen Angels - that is sitting in my cupboard right next to me. The fifth book - The City of Lost Souls - is only coming out in May, and let's just say I would kill to read it now. And there is going to be a movie too! It's like The Hunger Games all over again (when I first discovered it lah). I can't wait I can't wait I can't wait! But the difference is the series isn't done yet, which makes things not so dependent on the movie unlike THG. That's what I think so anyways.

Speaking of which, I wanted to ask my auntie to pass me all the Artemis Fowl books after The Lost Colony. Can't wait to get more Holly/Butler/Minerva/Artemis action! After that, it's Eragon, Harry Potter (I'm a fail fan, having never read the books), random books that I've got piled up; then hopefully, Lord of the Rings (I'm planning to get all first then read them back to back to back to back), The Infernal Devices, etc.

I have no regrets!
Love, Nathalie.

The sun, ah.

2012-01-26T23:39:00.000+08:00

I wish I could write original songs. I wish I could compose music that easily. I wish I could write stories that people want to jump into. I wish I could play the piano without really practicing. I wish I didn't have so much to live up to. I wish I had some weird power to be proud of. I wish I was special in a dangerous, magical way. I wish I could just live in books for the rest of my life. I wish book reading was an legitimate job (besides librarian). I wish that some of my wishes would come true so maybe I wouldn't feel so bad sometimes. I wish the first wish to come true would be the weird powers one. Exciting things always happen to characters when they're 15, 16 or 17 though. I'm just waiting and wishing that something will happen soon.

Love, Fumiko.

Who's sleeping with whom?

2012-01-22T23:07:00.001+08:00

I figured I shall wish all of you a Happy Chinese New Year before the servers get jammed. I'm not sure if unifi is even capable of that, but I don't want to take any chances. So, Happy Year of the Dragon, guys! It's supposed to be a pretty good year for me - le Rat - but I'm supposed to be studying really hard for that to become reality. And I also have to have a gourd with me all the time. You know, that thing that looks like a pear, but not quite? My grandmother has already supplied me with a jade one to hang onto my purse, and I have a metal one next to my bed. *shrugs* I believe more in horoscopes than in feng shui (though it should be the other way round).

Anyhoo, I just began reading Sleeping Arrangements by Madeleine Wickham AKA Sophie Kinsella and I'm already halfway through. Considering it's a chick flick, it's not that bad. Papa, on the other hand, had an ending that was shite (which is shit but in a British slang, try it!), but you should read it, because the middle is pretty good. But if you don't trust my judgement, I don't blame you. As long as I can understand it, it's pretty good to me. Speaking of books, I have yet to pack any into my bag that I'm bringing down to Malacca. Speaking of packing for Malacca, I haven't actually packed anything. I can't decide on which clothes to bring down. The only thing I am certain of is my phone and it's charger.

I'm not being very productive, actually. I hope you are, though you probably aren't. Teenagers aren't very different from each other huh.
Love, Nathalie.

P.S. Team Malaysia is on 4 out of 6 wins in WSDC. They have won against Australia, Denmark, Pakistan and Czech Republic; lost against Slovakia and India. There's two more rounds tomorrow, gambateh! :D

BOOO YEAH

2012-01-21T11:30:00.000+08:00

It's been a good week for us in the debating world. Team Malaysia is doing well in World School's Debating Championships. They've won 3 out of 4 rounds so far. Which is quite far from England who is on straight wins AND all judges (that means they won all their rounds unanimously), but the competition isn't over yet. I'm just gonna sit here along with the rest of the debaters stuck here in Malaysia and constantly refresh my tweets. I'll keep you posted about it.

As for the rest of us back here, we aren't without our share of joy either. SMK Sri Permata has topped the National High School Rankings 2011-2012! And suddenly, everyone who's in Sri Permata opens their eyes and FINALLY, FINALLY realizes that we exist. Sorry, I had to say that. What can we do? We're so used to rejection during recruiting. Takpe lah. Things like these make things like those worth it. :)

Love, Nathalie.

"Game on."

2012-01-19T17:00:00.000+08:00

Uzeir and Kirtana are the new joint heads for hi-tea 2012! :D They announced it to us during roll call today, and we're all pretty stoked about it. Our first meeting will be right after (I hope) CNY. We'll be delegating work and talking about budgets, and basically freaking out about the whole idea in general. This is SO my sort of thing, and I can't wait for it! Some of us have really great ideas already, so I can't wait to see how that turns out :3 The only sad thing is, we can't involve the form 4 probates in the preparations. At least, not until they become prefects so we're pretty short of people, compared to last year's committee. Oh well, like Kirtana and I were talking earlier, we'll make it work somehow. And also, everything starts with understanding. I just hope that everyone can remember that throughout the process. Drama is just too unnecessary at times like these.

Love, Nathalie.

It's like watching the night sky.

2012-01-17T20:10:00.000+08:00

A few songs I'm planning to do for a piano class project with my group.

Love, Nathalie.

Think outside the box.

2012-01-17T19:11:00.000+08:00

It would be nice if I had a box for everything. Sad times in there, angry exclamations in that one, good times in this one, and unforgettable memories in another. It would also be much easier to shut the lid on some things, and one day when I'm ready, I can sit down and open them up again.

The things I would put in: Scraps of papers, passed notes in class; lyrics of songs that I once loved but now forgotten; music homework from the day it was written by my mom til the days it was scrawled by me; confessions of lost love that never really begun; theories and ideas that had potential but never lifted off for me; all the things I never really got around to saying, but thought of a lot; souvenirs from camps, notebooks from school, presents from family and friends, and all the love in the world.

But how can you stop from throwing things away? It is so easy, one movement and the bad things will be gone. But bad things make good things better, yes? That's why I want boxes. Lots of boxes and ~~duck~~ duct tape and a silver marker. Throw things in a seal them up until my days are done and I want to revisit my youth one more time before I spread my wings to join the gods. That would be nice, wouldn't it.

Love, Fumiko.

We've got to make it rain somehow.

2012-01-16T16:44:00.000+08:00

Lately, I don't seem to have time for a lot of things. I'm not the only one, because all the form 4s are going through this phase. We're still getting used to the way upper secondary works, still getting used to being constantly on the move, constantly tired, while having to be constantly alert. It's sort of like being thrown back into Puay Chai, for me, and I'm really not used to having to do all this work after relaxation for three years. Piece of advice to the juniors, if anyone tells you form 4 is a honeymoon year, it's all lies. You will not have time for anything, but at the same time, time for everything. Does that make any sense? You tell me when you're in my position.

Anyway, I'm reading Papa now. The school novels aren't that bad, I guess. I told myself I wouldn't read anything else until I'm done with it. Same with me telling myself that I wouldn't stop watching Black Cat because the intervals are boring. And what I mean by that is, it doesn't have the familiar "I can't wait to watch the next episode" feeling, so I find myself taking my time to load the next one, though once I start watching, it is really good. I guess that's the thing about older animes. So classic and really down to what anime was and is, but missing the newbie's attraction.

and oh shit, I just realized I have debate research to do! I'll try to blog tomorrow :)

Love, Nathalie.

"Seaweed brain."

2012-01-13T19:10:00.000+08:00

Warning: If you prefer to spend your time doing something more productive, I suggest you skip this post entirely. Don't worry, I'm used to rejection. *wipes away fake tear*

At this point, I'm in the"I HAVE A LOT OF FEELINGS OKAY" mood, so even more of this fandom/passion (which sounds much more dignified) and I will just burst into tears and go insane. But I can't really help myself, because all this is just wayyyyyy too awesome. Reading the last Percy Jackson book was really emotional/nerve-wrecking for me. Finish reading it after reading Artemis Fowl? Double that emotion and you get hyperbola from me. Get it? Hyper. Ball. Ball of hyper-ness? nevermind.

One sad thing is I don't have anyone to share this immense passion with. I mean, no one gets it when I quote Lord of the Rings, or Percy Jackson, or Artemis Fowl, or other books. It's even worse when I crack random jokes that are relevant to those books. But I think everyone is quite used to me saying stuff and fading off because no one gets it. My life is equivalent to a crab's (I don't know why either. I just feel like eating that now). See what I mean?

I suppose I'm not the only one that feels like this most of the time, or maybe I am. People I know usually have more relatable passions, so I'm probably on my own when it comes to this. It's just a little lonely here, when I'm going on about how hot Artemis Fowl is. I mean, he can put some of the smartest people in the world to shame, and he's what, my age? Who doesn't love a smart guy? Beats all the stupid cliches about dumb jocks being ideal. I haven't even gotten started on the fairies and all the equipment they have! Shit, they make Totally Spies' gadgets seem lame (they were cool in their day, okay).

Also, Percy Jackson is god - literally. Every time I read the books (and I've read them a lot), I always think about how much I would love to just jump right in and join them. Screw the warnings on the first page, y'know? I want to be a demigod. Apollo or Hades please! Piece of advice, never get me started on this topic, because I will go on and talk about the gods and goddess, they're traits and how I think they look etc. until you will be checking your pockets to see if you have anything sharp in there to stab me with. Thank gods you're reading this on a screen right now. I don't want to think about the consequences that come with letting my fingers go wild on the screen. (not an angry mob!)

I should go now, dinner. Ohyahhhhhh PERCY JACKSON, ARTEMIS FOWL, THE HUNGER GAMES, HARRY POTTER, LORD OF THE RINGS, INKHEART (don't you dare think I forgot about them!) FOR LYFEEEEEE.

Love, Fumiko.

How old is your soul?

2012-01-13T18:13:00.000+08:00

This version is better than the original, me thinks.

But besides me not being productive while still being busy (it's a natural feat for every teenager. no matter how much work we complete, there's always some more), I have been well. 4M isn't completely as bad as it seems, though 4J is still pretty appealing at this point. I'm just lazy to yearn for something else right now, especially when things have just begun to settle down.

I love this point of school, you know? When everything is still new and fresh enough to avoid drama, while being confusing enough to offer some sort of challenge. Though going back on BBC and starting to read up on important news is not exactly something I've been keeping up, nor something I'm yearning to pick back up. But I think I'll have to, because tomorrow it's the first debate session of 2012! Hopefully, we won't get screwed up too badly. Maybe Don will be nice and we'll do some neutral easy-going debate topics, then we'll break in the big boys next week. Hopefully.

Going by my very positive logic, that is what will happen for the juniors. The seniors, he might just give us harder topics that involve reading up on, and that's what I'm afraid of. After all, us form 4 debaters can't really qualify as juniors anymore. Especially since we have shortage of seniors and Kir, Jean and I will be taking over next year. Well, just Jean and I mostly, and that isn't too sure either. Kir said she won't be able to continue due to SPM, but I hope that isn't so. Otherwise debate might just graduate along with us.

This is just one aspect of my life though. Debate, I mean. I still haven't properly blogged about all the new subjects we're getting used to, prefects (mannnn kena screwed yesterday, though it ended on a good note), piano, my guitar that really doesn't want to sound on tune etc. I keep telling myself that I have to plan my time better, but then again, you see me here on the netbook blogging again. -.-

Fudge.

Love, Nathalie.

I set fiiiiiiiiiiiiire to the rain!

2012-01-10T17:24:00.000+08:00

I don't have much to blog about, besides the latest episode of Fairy Tail (such a cliff-hanger, ugh!) and I figured you don't want to hear anything about that. So I'll just tell you that we're only into the second week of school, so nothing substantial enough for me to blog about has happened yet. I don't even feel like blogging about teachers or homework now. Plus, I haven't been reading enough to supply any quotes or reading fantasies (I just started reading Artemis Fowl and the Lost Colony, so bersabar). Basically, this post is almost a waste of time. The best thing about it would be the picture. Natsu forever! (Y)

Oh, but I have a lot of things to blog about on my private blog, though I kind of don't want to because it would just make it a bigger issue. *wink*

Love, Nathalie.

Kami Pengawas.

2012-01-08T17:11:00.000+08:00

Before you all come and hunt me down because I didn't blog for a few days even though I said I would, I have a sad but logical reason for this. My internet has been down for the past few days for some reason. Maybe the guys that were working on the wires in my house cut the wrong wires. In that case, everyone in my house will be going after them. What they were supposed to do was cut off my house telephone line (because no one uses it anymore and it's a waste of money to even have it, so call my cell next time, guys.), which they did, but Y U CUT THE OTHER ONE, BAKA?! It's back now, as you can see, so we'll go after them once we're done with celebrating the return of our internet. I think my grandfather was the most depressed about the loss of it hahahah.

Anyways, just got back from orientation camp yesterday. If you are tired of hearing us prefects talk about how we're all practically paralyzed (but even worse because we still can feel the pain) then don't continue reading, because I can't even lean back into my chair without feeling some sort of ache or pain somewhere. Standing up after sitting for a long time is even worse. If all the prefects had to do Marissa's stick-out-your-butt-and-stretch-your-hands exercise now, at least 90% of us would fall face down onto the floor. Which reminds me of the RJA song. lol but this year's orientation was seriously fun.

(why do these things always happen in camps? ahhahaha)

The culture night performances were all hi. la. ri. ous.

(and we are SO getting shirts next year!)

This year's war games were shorter than last year's,

but it was cool 'cause ALPHA WOOOOOOOON

(I wanted to join these 3 pictures together properly

but the websites I went to have the worst frames/collages ever. swear)

Stayed up until 3:00am after that.

I think the water rejuvenated us all,

so we ended up sitting in a huge group around the jam crackers tin.

Adrina would be proud of us ;)

(If we did this now, you know what will happen)

...and this was the killer.

Well, not specifically this because the mud was quite cooling,

but the whole Fitness Course we had to go through.

It was HELL. (but slightly better)

Now the biggest dilemma would be, how will our batch top this next year?

The seniors did a great job this year, and it'll be hard to top.

But we're prefects, so giving up is not on our regime.

YOSH!

Love, Nathalie.

"Swift and quick, like shadows we must be."

2012-01-02T23:30:00.001+08:00

You can't imagine how grateful I am that Blogger had the stroke of genius to create an official app for us hardcore bloggers with smartphones. Before this, it was insane tapping on the text box trying to type, and failing. I apologize in advance if this turns out nothing like my usual posts. The aura here is just completely different, it's weird.

Anyway, I'm really enjoying my new phone (most of you must be able to tell) and my mum never stops reminding me how expensive and valuable it is. My dad, on the other hand, was trying to stick a protective cover onto my phone when there already was one, but we realized that too late. Now my original protective cover has a few bubbles, which I initially freaked out about. (OCD or over-protective, you decide.)

Another thing I initially freaked out about? Learning how to cycle. Being in my family means being constantly bombarded with stories of how life was "back then" and how they all could do all kinds of stuff "when I was your age".

That means, the younger generation (though mostly Aunty Su Yen and I) always gets bugged about the latest fads in technology, fashion etc. Not to mention lectured about being decent children and learning "essential abilities". Which leads to me finally learning how to cycle.

I admit, there wasn't really much to be afraid of. Compared to the ways my parents and grand aunts and uncles learnt the skill, the way I learnt it was as safe as, as.. nevermind. Anyway, I can now cycle - sort of. I'm still not able to turn or ride on really bumpy surfaces, but it's an improvement. Like my grand aunties said, I earned my "P license". I'm not even sure if that's the correct term lol

I'll blog more tomorrow. :)
Love, Nathalie.

Not all those who wander are lost.

2011-12-31T12:22:00.000+08:00

Happy New Year's Eve, guys! It's a bit early to use the "I can't believe I've stuck to blogging for so long" line, so I'll save that one for when I'm all bundled up and ready to be shipped off to college.

In the meanwhile, I just want to thank you guys for reading. A blog is nothing without it's audience, and you have just been wonderful, sticking with me through all my "omg that's really good English/literature, I'll post it on my blog" posts, and my frequent attempts at imitating that (though I really think I'm better off sticking to mindless babbling). I really have to thank you for not dumping my blog even though I post SO MUCH fandom on it. Most people can't tolerate fandom about things they aren't really interested in, but you're still here. So thank you.

Without you guys, I don't think my blog views could have sky-rocketed-to-the-moon-and-the-sky's-the-limit-thing. I'm checking my stats as I type this, and the views have gone nowhere but up, up, up! Last month, I had 1167 page views, and you have to imagine my ecstasy when I tell you that in January I only had 336.

I have to say, this year was pretty darn great. I can't imagine a better first year as morning session prefects, and all us form 3s have our lovely seniors to thank for that. And even though it doesn't seem like it, I started debating this year, and it went much better than I thought it would. I also fulfilled my dream of joining the Editorial Board under the English department. But of course, my biggest success would have to be musically and academically, getting out-of-this-world grades for my grade 5 theory exam and PMR. (if I do say so myself)

Sitting here blogging about 2011 makes me wonder if I should be dwelling on the past or planning for the future, for the year to come will not be easy. I don't believe for one second that form 4 is a honeymoon year. It's going to be hell, trying to juggle learning two instruments at the same time, studying like crap about everything high-school-standard that has to do with Science, being expected to join many debate competitions and win many as well, writing countless articles for the Ed Board, trying to keep up my co-curriculum marks AND getting good grades at the same time.

But now, it is still 2011, so I wish you all a Happy New Year. May your destiny be bright (because luck is just a fiction created by men to fool fools into thinking that nothing is bound by fate) and your days light. One does not simply walk into Mordor. You have to fight tens of thousands of orcs to get there, but no big.

See you on the flip side!
Love, Nathalie.

May it be.

2011-12-31T11:34:00.000+08:00

Listen to this and CRY.

Lord of the Rings has such nostalgic music :'|

Love, Nathalie.

Dreams do come true in New Orleans.

2011-12-30T15:59:00.000+08:00

Oh my god, non?

Love, Nathalie.

"Keep it secret. Keep it safe."

2011-12-30T15:54:00.000+08:00

"You shall be the Fellowship of the Ring."

2011-12-30T15:16:00.001+08:00

Warning: Very long screenshot-fandom post ahead of you. But of course. Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring is where it all begins!

“...History became legend, legend became myth, and for two and a half thousand years the Ring passed out of all knowledge. Until, when chance came, it ensnared a new bearer.

The Ring came to the creature Gollum, who took it deep into the tunnels of the Misty Mountains. And there, it consumed him. The Ring brought to Gollum unnatural long life. For 500 years, it poisoned his mind. And in the gloom of Gollum’s cave, it waited.

Darkness crept back into the forests of the world. Rumor grew of a shadow in the East, whispers of a nameless fear. And the Ring of Power perceived its time had now come. It abandoned Gollum. But something happened them that the Ring did not intend. It was picked up by the most unlikely creature imaginable: a Hobbit, Bilbo Baggins of the Shire. For the time will soon come when hobbits will shape the fortunes of all."

“I don’t know half of you half as well as I should like;

and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve.”

- Bilbo Baggins

“A wizard is never late, Frodo Baggins. Nor is he early.

He arrives precisely when he means to.”

- Gandalf the Grey

“It’s a dangerous business, going out your door.

You step onto the road, and if you don’t keep your feet,

there’s no telling where you might be swept off to.”

- Bilbo Baggins

Arwen/Liv Taylor! So beautiful :')

Rivendell is gorgeous, I told you so.

If heaven were to be like that, I wouldn't mind dying here and now.

Orlando Bloom's commentary for this scene was hilarious. (y)

"Mellon."

I still remember the answer for the riddle, which is insanely simple.

Sorry, I couldn't find a good quality screenshot for this scene so this will have to do.

Gandalf the Grey dies battling Balrog :(

(then he's resurrected in the second movie but still sad.)

Why are the places elves build so beautiful?!

Why are ELVES so beautiful?!

I WANT TO BE AN ELF.

“All that is gold does not glitter,

Not all those who wander are lost;

The old that is strong does not wither,

Deep roots are not reached by the frost.

From the ashes a fire shall be woken,

A light from the shadows shall spring;

Renewed shall be blade that was broken,

The crownless again shall be king.”

- Galadriel

“I asked her for one hair from her golden head.

She gave me three.”

- Gimli

One Ring to rule them all, One Ring to find them,

One Ring to bring them all, and in the darkness bind them.

Love, Fumiko.

"How do you pick up the threads of an old life?"

2011-12-30T13:36:00.000+08:00

I was rummaging through my grand uncle's movie collection and guess what I found?! YES. Lord of the Rings: the Return of the King! I almost fainted in happiness.

"my precious"

and that's how Smeagal (I still can't get his name spelled right) became Gollum.

It's really sad to see him degrade from a whatever-he-was to Gollum.

But in this movie he was SO annoying. Yeah, he deserved to die.

But I pity him too, but I guess living in that state would have been worse than anything else.

Minas Trith is a gorgeous place.

Not as gorgeous as Rivendell of course, but still beautiful.

Don't see anything? Look closer.

"WTF?! it's a giant spider!"

Having a giant spider in Middle-Earth is so... normal compared to all their other crazy beings.

Oliphants, not elephants

(I just realized awhile ago, though it's quite obvious that they're different. You can see by the friggin' size!)

When Legolas takes down an oliphant, I swear it was the best Legolas scene ever (y)

It was a pity there weren't more Legolas scenes in the 3rd movie. :(

"I am no man!"

WOOOOO IT'S THE DEAD MEN OF DUNHARROW!

And at this part, everyone is just like:

THROW IT IN WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR (even Sam)

And the ending was :')

P.S. I just realized that I haven't done the screenshot-fandom post for the first movie! That'll be done... soon.

All shall fade.

2011-12-30T12:32:00.001+08:00

“

Home is behind

The world ahead

And there are many paths to tread

Through shadow

To the edge of night —

Until the stars are all alight

Mist and shadow

Cloud and shade

All shall fade

”

- Lord of the Rings: the Return of the King

I'm almost there.

2011-12-29T15:01:00.000+08:00

Prince Naveen: Because... because she is my Evangeline.

*dies*

One does not simply walk into Mordor.

2011-12-29T13:58:00.000+08:00

Frodo: I can’t do this, Sam.

Sam: I know. It’s all wrong. By rights we shouldn’t even be here. But we are. It’s like in the great stories, Mr. Frodo. The ones that really mattered. Full of darkness and danger, they were. And sometimes you didn’t want to know the end. Because how could the end be happy? How could the world go back to the way it was when so much bad had happened? But in the end, it’s only a passing thing, this shadow. Even darkness must pass. A new day will come. And when the sun shines it will shine out the clearer. Those were the stories that stayed with you. That meant something, even if you were too small to understand why. But I think, Mr. Frodo, I do understand. I know now. Folk in those stories had lots of chances of turning back, only they didn’t. They kept going. Because they were holding on to something.
Frodo: What are we holding onto, Sam?
Sam: That there’s some good in this world, Mr. Frodo… and it’s worth fighting for.

"Shall I describe it to you? Or would you like me to find you a box?"

2011-12-29T00:27:00.000+08:00

Just finished watching Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers and it was crazy good. I know now why people have to watch it again and again and again. Because every scene is just way too epic, and it's almost impossible to digest everything in one go. So you have to watch and pause and watch and pause and listen to the commentaries and then watch like a thousand more times just to grasp the whole thing. It's like the Harry Potter movies, except so much better (to me). I get it now why Vivienne will never marry someone who doesn't like LOTR. There's so much to like, how can you not like?!

Gandalf the White (previously the Grey) is the most badass wizard EVER.

Frodo/Sam have such a cute bromance (but I'm for Legolas/Gimli any day!).

And Sam is adorable, and Frodo has the more beautiful eyes (L)

Is it wrong that I kinda like them more than the Golden Trio (HP)?

BUT THEY'RE SO DAMN AWESOME :'B

Aragorn and Arwen have the saddest forbidden relationship.

Like I said, all the scenes were seriously epic.

This one, when the elves came to honor the legendary truce between elves and humans,

SO MUCH LOVE.

(and Legolas looked so damn good in this part)

And I still can't get over how swoon-worthy Orlando Bloom is playing Legolas.

again, LOOOOOVE.

Love, Fumiko.

There's nothing else I can say.

2011-12-28T13:52:00.000+08:00

I can't wait for the next Fairy Tail update. 112!

I thought your fingers were supposed to stop hurting after awhile and you're left with peeling skin, but nooo. My fingers peel, then hurt, then heal, then hurt, then peel, th- wash rinse cycle. *looks down at fingers dejectedly* I'm not sure what happened but my fingers hurt especially now, maybe I've been getting too much sleep.

In my defense, I did wake up earlier today to see my grandparents, sister and maid ~~(who's going to do the laundry and the dishes now?!)~~ off, so I woke up in time for brunch instead of lunch. Accomplishment. Now (technically) I'm home alone (I already did a home alone bracket, didn't I?), but really, my granduncle and grandaunt are right next door.

And I've told you before that there's no fence separating the two houses. So I'm more like the teenager-that-feels-more-comfortable-in-her-own-house-so-we'll-come-check-in-on-her-every-odd-hour-and-call-her-for-mealtimes than the badass kid in home alone. Yeah, I used to love that movie (watched it every Christmas) until I grew up. sad story.

Sometimes I think I should restart my youtube account. Create a new one and start uploading vlogs and videos and become a youtube star. Oh who am I kidding. I look terrible on camera. Now you know why I'm still blogging after all these years (since primary school, but I deleted that blog because it was too emotional - in a bad way - to keep). Words are always so much more attractive. At least it is to me. Now you also know why I would rather read a book than watch a movie.

Back to communitychannel.

Love, Nathalie.

"I'm coming to find you."

2011-12-26T17:44:00.000+08:00

I kept my promise, I woke up in time for lunch, or brunch to be specific. Isn't it much better to do so? Spending the time of two meals with just the time of one, and instead using your breakfast time to get in more sleep. Added to that, technically you're not missing breakfast because lunch would be the first meal of the day, therefore you still get that kick start. Yep, it's totally justifiable to sleep in until lunch. In fact, school should start later every day so everyone can sleep in. In fact, we should all just chase after our dreams and not go to school at all. Imagine all the music time I could squeeze into my life!

Besides daydreaming my productive life away, my grandmother and I have started baking. Right now, she and my sister are cutting cookies (chop[y'know, chop chop chop chop out the shapes, except you can't use chopping because that's too masculine for cookies]-ing would be more accurate I guess). My sister is complaining about how her cookies keep going out of shape. That's because I'm not there. The previous batches have turned out perfectly thanks to my skills, if I do say so myself.

Usually I don't do the chop-ing because I can never roll out the dough evenly, but if it's non-business-related cookies, then I do fine. (You see, we bake mostly for my grandaunt who's a florist who does hampers for every single festival. I'm sure I've told you all this before) We're planning to do a lot of baking down here, mostly for CNY. I'm just waiting for my other grandaunt to travel down under (here, that is, not Australia) with her Hershey's chocolate sauce, because it makes the churros I'm planning to make ten times more delectable (L)

I've got a theory that my way of speaking and blogging changes slightly every time I read a book or watch too many videos from the same youtuber. I subconsciously apply little bits of speech or phrases from the media and add it to my vocabulary because it's too good to not use, you know. Any comments on this? or is it too slight to notice any big changes? On that note, yes, I know, this is totally irrelevant from what I was just typing about.

P.S. My blog title was meant to be touching, after a book named Sister that I just read. It was a really good book, but my blog title makes it seem more creepy than anything else.

Love, Nathalie.

You're far from the usual.

2011-12-26T17:15:00.000+08:00

I don't know why I haven't seen this til' now. If half of my planned performances turn out that good, I would be on cloud 9 for ages. Unfortunately, they don't, because we're all lacking spirit and are easily appeased. I'm also lacking in what you call a free flow of musical sense. If I could, I would sit down and jam out originals all day; except it comes harder for me than for other people I know. Is it because I'm no good at dictating melodies? I'm sure that plays a part in things. Sigh, sigh and sigh. I'm going to have to work on that. The problem is, what human beings lack in natural talent, we have to make up with hard work. And mountain climbing is always batshit hard even though you know the view will be worth it.

Love, Nathalie.

The Capitol is watching.

2011-12-25T23:31:00.000+08:00

I just realized that I haven't told you guys at all about how Panem October had to shut down due to some issues. So now all we THG fans left is thecapitol.pn. That means, I'm officially in D8, which is a bummer after racking up so much spirit for D9. Oh well, THG will still be THG no matter what ARG they use.

Love, Nathalie.

Parumpapumpum

2011-12-25T22:51:00.001+08:00

Am I unintentionally recycling pictures for my blog posts? Or do I keep it in my Pictures for too long until it becomes a dejavu moment when I finally post it up? The universe is so chock full with secrets that sometimes it gets too confusing for the average teenage mind.

Anyway, Christmas day is coming to an end. I can't believe it, after waiting so long for the end of the year to arrive, it has just zoomed past my very eyes. Somehow, I'm in the very position that I predicted and hoped I would be in. Y'know, satisfied with my life so far, several items added to my wardrobe, succeeded both musically and academically this year (doing well in sports would be too big of a wish). And I'm glad that I have more good memories that I can add to this list, that I never thought of in the first place.

This is really turning into a New Year's Eve blog post. I guess I should save a bit of meat for that one. I'll blog more tomorrow (because blogging is the most fascinating activity on the internet down here in Malacca - somehow. It was boring today, without anything to do online but ultimate-guitar. Thank goodness for books and music. I'm beginning to wonder if I'll die of boredom staying down here for so long. I hope not. Tomorrow we'll be baking CNY cookies! My sister is planning on waking up at 8:30am. I, on the other hand, am planning to wake up for lunch.)

Love, Nathalie.

If everyone spoke like the characters in very good books, wouldn't the world be a much more beautiful place?

Love, Fumiko.

Chestnuts roasting on an open fire.

2011-12-25T16:00:00.000+08:00

Merry Christmas from Malacca! I'm kind of down here because I don't have a choice. My parents couldn't come down with, and when they go to work my sister and I will be home alone (minus the psychotic/stupid thieves). Everyone's going up to KL again on Wednesday, but I might stay back here (if I don't get too home sick). My logic is I'm going to be doing the exact same things there as I am here (except my 'rents will be there if I go back, of course). Plus, I won't be back home for long, because everyone is coming back down here for New Year's Eve celebration! So yeah, if nothing goes wrong, I'll be here until this year comes to an end. I've brought 5 books to keep me company, so I guess I won't get too lonely. Mostly, I'll be anticipating my parents coming down, because if I'm lucky, my white iPhone 4S is coming with! ALL HAIL

Love, Nathalie.

Just close your eyes, you'll be alright.

2011-12-24T00:35:00.002+08:00

I can't imagine a better Christmas gift from Lionsgate. The song just puts a smile to my face. It fits The Hunger Games so well, better than I could have ever imagined. By the way, I hope this Christmas brings light in all your souls, and happiness from deep down in your heart. Even if you feel terrible, smile. I command you, smile. You and I will be alright. Find that sense of peace and belonging in yourself, and just... live.

Have a Merry Christmas, guys.
Love, Nathalie and Fumiko.

This is what I dreamed it would be.

2011-12-22T13:16:00.000+08:00

Just realized that I was meaning to have a special post for my 1000th post, but I didn't do it, I think. I give up keeping track of things like these. I'd rather spend my time discovering more amazing music and videos on youtube. (all hail YTF!) Besides that, am I the only one that thinks that growing up means new feelings towards happiness and depression and all sorts of other things? The more you think about it, the saying "we're all part of something big" (I'm sure that came from a song) is no joke. I'm beginning to realize that now.

Love, Nathalie.

The stars in the sky are my tears.

2011-12-22T12:28:00.000+08:00

All hail! He still looks good in Lego form!

I'm a proud survivor of showered hugs and kisses, and a victim of I-almost-tore-my-exam-slip. Now my exam slip is hidden discreetly under my Queen of Dreams paperback. And my IC is underneath that (my drawer is not safe anymore) and my phone is on top of all that stuff, occasionally buzzing whenever I get a congratulations text. I actually have a stuffed octopus phone holder but it's tiring to reach my (muscle-less) ~~hand~~ arm that far to answer texts.

Everything that happened this morning seems to be millions of light years away. I'm just sitting down and watching communitychannel videos while waiting for Black Cat to load. Still waiting for someone that I subscribed to to ~~double to!~~ upload something so I can watch that and blog about it and share it on Twitter instead of watching reruns (but on youtube). Yeah, nothing has changed even though I am now an iPhone richer.

Love, Nathalie.

P.S. STRAIGHT As! YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS ~~(I initially wanted to drag on the S behind the A but that would become something like this: STRAIGHT ASSSSSSS)~~

Why'd you do this to me?!

2011-12-21T20:47:00.000+08:00

THIS is why everyone should love Dtrix.

Love, Nathalie.

Never say never, never say die.

2011-12-21T20:22:00.000+08:00

Little bugs are starting to crawl somewhere near my heart. I might not realize it now, but I'm secretly scared. Scared for next year, for my future, for my non-existent love life, for my dreams and hopes and wonders of "will it come true". I'm scared of so many things so far in the future that I haven't begun getting nervous for what's happening tomorrow. In fact, my only concern is my outfit for tomorrow and my IC that will be burning a hole in my pocket (I have an intense fear of someone stealing it or me breaking it in half)

In the meantime, my mom is scolding me about my messy bed and floor and table and everything that's not on my sister's side of the room (she has slight subconscious ocd, though I predict she will join the messy side soon); except I can't hear her that well thanks to my Beats (you da bomb). I'm blasting my most spirit-lifting rock (and occasional pop) songs. No way am I giving in to nervousness and fear! Though if this doesn't work, I'm going to play some piano, then guitar. Music truly heals the soul :')

I wonder if I'll go back to school acting like the old me I left behind, or will I really be myself from now on? Anyway, before I do more soul-searching, music-appreciating, gawking, let me wish all my form 3 readers good luck. Don't worry about it if your results aren't satisfying. Grades don't determine how well you'll do in life.

Love, Nathalie.

We're getting tired of proving we belong.

2011-12-21T11:42:00.000+08:00

...maybe I should just go for it.

It's all I want in the morning.

2011-12-20T22:48:00.000+08:00

VICTOR KIM IS MINE.

(In fact, they're all mine, but I'll call dibs on one for now)

Love, Nathalie.

That's how it always starts.

2011-12-20T21:50:00.000+08:00

I have said this once, and I'll say it over and over again until you get SO tired of it: Vivienne Len Wei Wern, Lim Thong Jean and Gabrielle Lee Jiao Yin are my family away from my family, and nothing will ever replace them. We didn't have a sleepover like usual, but we had fun regardless. The others think we weren't productive enough, but since when are we productive anyways ;)

Considering things though, we weren't THAT unproductive today. After all, Vivienne managed to get us all addicted to Quest Crew like teenagers to food (Y U SO TALENTEDDDD), and me addicted to Lord of the Rings. I think it's the longest movie I've ever sat through (3 hours for one movie, can you believe it?), but holy shzam it's one good movie. Goodness knows why I haven't watched it yet. Like I said to Viv, it's like reading a book, and that's why we both love it so (and why some people just aren't that interested). Not to mention, Legolas played by Orlando Bloom is just *swoon*

Love, Nathalie.

Let's sing the world's song.

2011-12-19T21:02:00.000+08:00

Went for my last piano class for this year, and it was surprisingly refreshing. I finally got my Grade 5 theory certificate, and you won't believe how nice it is to see the word "distinction" on it. I swear, getting distinction for piano exams feel so much better than getting straight As for any normal exam. Teacher Nancy also asked me if I wanted to take my Grade 8 ABRSM (I've been taking Yamaha up til now) next year, which I proceeded to stare at her for a few seconds before erupting into violent shakes of my head and WTF hand gestures.

So it's decided that I'll most probably be taking my G8 when I'm in form 5, in the middle of the year so it won't obstruct my frantic SPM studying. Fyi, Yamaha is Japanese syllables and ABRSM is English syllables. Now, wouldn't it be cool if I learnt Japanese so I could do my Yamaha theory reading the Japanese instead of the English translation? like a bossss (y)

Since I'm on the topic of music, I've finally decided what to do with my future. Like, for real. Like, the chances of me changing that is quite slim (though I wouldn't take my complete word for it). I'm going to do my music diploma while studying something like Psychology or English in college. It's something I subconsciously decided after spending so much time at home. hahah it's also something I really can imagine myself doing, not all the Fumiko-like ideas I've had before.

P.S. Going to meet up with Viv, Gab and Jean tomorrow! :')
Love, Nathalie.

Everyday my thoughts just drive me insane.

2011-12-19T16:44:00.000+08:00

Had a dream that day, that I got 5As, 2Bs. All I can do now is silently pray that the dream wasn't a premonition, secret desire or sign of fate. All I hope that it's a secret fear that it might happen to me. I can't imagine myself getting straight As as much as I cannot imagine myself getting anything less. Actually, I can't even imagine myself getting up that early (I have become a slug over the months after PMR) to go to school to collect the results. Maybe that way of thinking will work for me, as it has worked for me for all my piano exams so far. Speaking of which, I've got piano in 15 minutes and I haven't even left the house. asdfghjkl

Love, Nathalie.

Don't perish yet, the fire in my heart.

2011-12-19T14:36:00.001+08:00

If I try to suppress my heart, which is burning hot for things that are unobtainable or constrained,

How am I different from those adults, whom I have come to despise and will never forgive

for their constant attempt to pin me down blindly without even understanding why?

No matter what I do, it'll probably remain a pipe dream that will never come true,

but the fire burning in my heart cannot be doused by anyone.

Even if the black rain falling from the sky drenches me completely and doesn't stop,

I will never allow the fire in my heart to be extinguished. That, is my "pride".

It's my dream that one day I'll be able to write songs like these.

I'm dreaming of a white Christmas.

2011-12-18T20:50:00.001+08:00

Google "let it snow" right now.

Love, Nathalie.

I placed my destiny on this magic.

2011-12-18T20:50:00.000+08:00

My life is nothing but a dream

From which I wake into death,

which is nothing but a dream of life.

- Queen of Dreams

by Chitra Banerjee Divakaruni

You's a ho ho ho-

2011-12-16T13:20:00.000+08:00

I WANT THE YTF CHRISTMAS ALBUM DAMN IT ALL

(I still can't decide which version of Christmas Swag I like better)

Love, Nathalie.

He sees you when you're sleeping.

2011-12-16T13:16:00.000+08:00

The performance at the NASAM Christmas party was a success. Some people even thought we were professionals. psssshhhh yeah right hahaha. But the performance turned out better than we thought, and several more jokes are going to be created from this event, surely. I love my family :')

Love, Nathalie.

Same same but different.

2011-12-15T18:23:00.000+08:00

I didn't realize it when I was in Hat Yai, but Thais are really like a blender-mix of people from Malaysia. Say, Malay eyes with Indian features and a Chinese way of speaking? Idk, something like that. But after spending 4 days in Bangkok, I've learnt to differentiate the Thais from the Malaysians. The Europeans are easy, though I'm not good enough to tell which country they're from yet. Bangkok, as a whole, is not a bad country to visit.

Their airport is gorgeous,

The rivers and temples will make your jaws drop, especially the Grand Palace,

Though the tourist transport system is screwed up,

(stupid stops for free gasoline and stubborn drivers)

THE SHOPPING MAKES UP FOR EVERYTHING.

Love, Nathalie.

To the place I know that's keeping my faith.

2011-12-14T18:32:00.000+08:00

Ao no Exorcist

(SATAN AND YURI. SO MUCH LOVE)

Fairy Tail

(Jane, you have to watch this anime, seriously)

(how the most evil wizard in the entire universe can be so hot, I don't know)

Zero no Tsukaima
(Okay, I just really ship Saito/Louise. I want a love affair like theirs, so badly)

(CANNOT WAIT FOR THE NEXT SEASON)

K-ON

(That's prolly teaser for the new movie (L) )

Honey and Clover
(if you haven't watched this, WATCH IT. even if you're non-otaku)

I have way too much love for all these anime. I wanna watch them again and again and just watch in awe of all the funny moments and all epicness, but that would take away all my time for discovery of new anime. I couldn't live without it, I think. It's more than just cartoons for me. OTAKU FOREVER.

P.S. Don't feel like blogging about Bangkok right now.

Love, Fumi-chan!

Going through with the motions.

2011-12-09T10:29:00.001+08:00

I'm not done packing yet, but I'm going out (OU! I can't wait to see what they did with their Christmas decorations, considering their theme is "sea". Bizarre, non?) today with my grand-aunties and grandmothers and aunties and sister and cousins. When I come back in the evening, I'm going to have to do a lot of last-minute packing then attempting to sleep early since we have to leave for the airport at 10am. Then you won't see me for another 4 days until I come back on Tuesday. Till then.

Love, Nathalie.

P.S. I got a feeling I'll miss Saito and Louise more than anyone else. (face palm, you may)

Just a pipe dream I could never have.

2011-12-09T10:29:00.000+08:00

I'm quite tired of consequences and having to think of them; judgement from my peers and the desire to make an impression; feeling like time is fleeting by before I can make my mark on anything substantial; having to tread on eggshells whenever something goes wrong; passing moments of worry for my appearance and attitude; not being able to sleep early, and not being able to wake up when I should; thinking about school and the walls I have to put back up; trying to sit still and imagine warm arms around me as I recall the boy dressed in white from my dreams. Is it possible to miss someone you've never even met?

Love, Fumiko.

"Ma, ma."

2011-12-07T22:07:00.000+08:00

I can't really think of anything to follow up that Koala-tea post.

Love, Fumiko.

Cover me in black stones.

2011-12-06T13:28:00.000+08:00

Stop, which way is the world going?

2011-12-06T11:25:00.000+08:00

I haven't been blogging that much lately, haven't I? It's not so much of what to blog about, more of when to blog. Whenever I'm free, the inspiration just doesn't come together, cause I'm too busy stressing about Honeydukes (now it's more like joining to see how high I can go, than winning the whole shebang), then watching Zero no Tsukaima/The Familiar of Zero to cool off.

I can see why people like Saito so much. :) - Fumiko

When I'm not using the computer, I'm probably playing the piano for The Grand Carolers. Yes, and you'll be amused that the reason behind that name is because we're made out of grandmothers, and grand-aunties, and grand nieces, and grandchildren. And just to put it frankly, not very angelic sounding ones either. Don't know why, but yesterday's practice didn't gel like it usually did. I'm thinking it has something to do with switching pianos. Before this I played on the normal piano (which is louder and much easier to play), but now I have to practice on the keyboard (the sound is as flat as an ironing board).

I think if we're not having choir practice today, then we'll be going out shopping. Either ways, I don't mind. If we stay in, I get to watch Zero no Tsukaima; and if we are going out, I can get some Christmas shopping done. Win-win situation (y)

Love, Nathalie.

It's the boy you never told I like you.

2011-12-04T22:32:00.000+08:00

Misaki-chan approves!

Love, Fumiko.

"Let's go back for coffee."

2011-12-04T21:14:00.000+08:00

...except more canggih looking.

Lose yourself tonight.

2011-12-04T17:45:00.000+08:00

Just finished reading Does My Head Look Big In This?, and it was as good as 10 Things I Hate About Me. Both books were about Muslim girls trying to fit in Australian society, and both books were equally refreshing. Ten times better than the usual chick lit. I don't know, chick lit. really gets boring for me after I read them back-to-back. I mean, switch it around, change the characters, change the love interest, and voila! You've got a winning book. Fantasy over chick lit any day.

So you can tell, since I just finished reading chick lit. (though that one had more perspective and depth than the usual) that my next book is going to be fantasy/murder mystery (those two words just gravitate towards each other for me). *drum rolls* I just borrowed Artemis Fowl and the Opal Deception from my cousin! Yes yes yes yes yes yessss. To go fangirl on you, Artemis Fowl is truly crush-worthy (to an extent). Sure, he's a pain in the arse, but I believe that deep down inside of him, he's actually halfway decent. You'd have to read the books to know what I mean.

Anyway, it's my grandfather's birthday today, and my parents, my grandmother, aunty and uncle got together to get him an iPad. Since my sister and I are too young to contribute, it's our duty to teach him how to use it since ~~my dad doesn't have that much patience, and~~ we're generally the go-to people anyways. His iPad is the white one and damnnn it is gorge. Makes me unable to wait for the day I can cradle the smaller phone version in my hand. But that's only possibly if when I get straight As.

Tonight, we're going to the Euro Deli for dinner. That means, steak and ribs and chops and sausages and and and and. I don't think I have enough knowledge to supply that many types of meat to eat. All hail my grandfather who loves meat as much as I do! And may he live healthily and happily for a long, long time to come. Happy birthday, grandpa :)

Love, Nathalie.

You're a beautiful fool.

2011-12-03T17:03:00.000+08:00

I would have just finished watching Wagnaria Season 1, except the video decided to lag after so many days of perfect service. :'( I feel so abandoned. And I was watching the last part of the last episode too! And if things couldn't get any worse, my grandmother and grand-aunties went shopping this morning and they just came back, telling me that they went to the Padini sale without me. And my grand-aunt bought the most amazing pair of shoes ever. I'm so miserable that I just want to drop dead. And and and and I want to eat cotton candy, and Famous Amos, and I don't want my sister to scold me when I'm in this mood. It's like she's the older one instead of me sheeeesssshhhh. And if she starts singing, I swear I will break her neck (though that would depend, because I'm not quite at the cold-blooded stage yet). AND I'm probably annoying every ~~person on the planet~~ body who knows me because I keep whining about how the votes keep sticking. But that's because everyone who does 343s (the numerical term created by moi to describe the exchange of 3 votes between contestants. Also known as 3 for 3s) are asleep, because they live on the other side of the globe we're all standing on. And Kajang had a flash flood and I haven't even begun remorse or self-hating thoughts about how the world IS going to end next year. And all I want to do is sleep and read and sleep and read and buy a lot of things for myself but that would violate the whole idea of "the spirit of Christmas". Put me on the "naughty list" and spare me the pain.

Basically, I'm just really sad that the video was lag while the sound system was perfectly intact, and the voices went on, except I don't understand Japanese that well, except that maybe it would have been worse if I could.
Love, Nathalie.

I'm reading Does My Head Look Big In This? and it's such a delightful book to read :')
Love, Fumiko.

There are things I could never have.

2011-12-02T20:23:00.000+08:00

Went out with my grandmother, sister, cousins, aunties and grand-aunties today. Yes, the first stage of Christmas shopping has begun! I love shopping with my family so much, because it feels like I'm right at home, instead of in a foreign environment. I feel less paranoid when I'm with them. :)

I didn't accomplish much today though. My horoscope was right. It guessed that I would be going Christmas shopping, and it predicted that I would find the things I wanted, but not as quickly and efficiently as I thought I would. Sighhh, and after battling so many urges to buy things for myself (like at Diva, I still think I should have bought that necklace with a lot of peace signs - 'cause I'm hippy like that), in the end, it wasn't much use because we went to both Borders AND Popular, and I ended up buying a book. Yeah, just one, not more.

You could say that it was an accomplishment, since it was originally RM59.90, but they were selling it for RM12.90. The book is House Rules by Jodi Picoult. My relatives seem more interested in the book than I am! Hahaha. I feel a little bad that I didn't accomplish any Christmas shopping. But ahwells, there are more times to do that. I just hope that I can get it all out of the way before my selfish desires drown me and I end up with no money to buy gifts, but a lot of belongings for myself.

Love, Nathalie.
P.S. Did you hear about the floods in Kajang? :( I'm going to pray that the floods don't invade the whole of Malaysia too.

Your misery and hate will kill us all.

2011-12-02T11:09:00.000+08:00

Times like these make me grateful for being able to become Fumiko and escape all of Nathalie's fatal flaws. Clumsiness is one of them, and self-hatred is another. I guess Fumiko was always there like a door I could open when misery felt bottomless, even before I gave her a name. Behind the door would be an empty parchment waiting to be painted. If you know what I mean, you won't need any further explanation.

For now, I'll just venture into the world of Artemis Fowl, since I just finished reading the books. As Fumiko, I would be the genius who discovered the existence of the People. I would make friends with them, and I would use my brains to concoct out-of-this-world plans to help save the Haven. And just around this time, I would be blinking my eyes and shaking my head, internally telling myself that it will never happen to me, for reality has taken a toll on all my beliefs. Stupid age comes with the responsibility to think like your age. Believing is something I'll have to learn from scratch again, I think. I hope Fumiko can help with that.

Typed out around 11:35 last night, and posted now.
Love, Nathalie.

P.S. This is going to be more confusing for me than for you, but when I'm in "Fumiko mood", I'll sign off as Fumiko, and ditto to Nathalie. It's so weird talking about my two names like I'm the third party. Maybe I'm suffering from multiple personality disorder after all, but that's such a psychology text book answer.
P.P.S. Sorry I haven't been blogging a lot lately, been busy with playing piano for the Christmas choir, watching anime, and bringing in votes.

What is wired life?

2011-12-01T13:13:00.001+08:00

Not bad for a day's work, huh?

Turns out, you can vote 3 times per day

(unless you change your IP address)

So please, please, please help.

...

I'm getting way too used to all this grovelling. lol

Love, Nathalie.

I'm like a rabbit that has escaped from the moon.

2011-11-30T10:11:00.000+08:00

I knew what the Google doodle was before I hovered my mouse over it.

The Adventures of Tom Sawyer *jeng jeng jeng*

In fact, I just bought his best friend's book.

The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn *jeng jeng jeng*

I also joined the Honeydukes Sweepstakes *jeng jeng jeng jeng jeng jeng*

Usually I would be lazy to join anything like this, but the Honeydukes candy got me thinking twice. So, please vote for me? Aiya, I feel so bad about asking people like this 'cause I personally don't really like it when people ask others to vote for them, though I help out anyways. So if no one votes for me, it will be karma. *jeng jeng jeng jeng jeng jeng jeng jeng jeng* Dayum.

Anyway, be a kind hearted soul, here's the link. The max is 3 times per person. (I'm still not sure if it's 3 per day or 3 forever. ~~pleasepleasepleaseplease3perday~~)

Love, Nathalie/Fumiko.

"Devour the seven princesses, slay the serpent."

2011-11-29T22:49:00.000+08:00

From left: Shima, Ryuji, Shiemi, Rin (L), Yukio, Kamiki, Konekomaru

Heh, I like how Neko is the only one that wasn't chibi-fied (since he's pretty chibi in real life already)

I just finished watching Ao no Exorcist. As usual, Jane's taste in anime is spot-on! (though I'm not ready to try her slightly hentai anime yet lol) This anime is about Rin Okumura, who is the son of Satan. After his adopted father sacrificed himself when he was possessed by Satan, Rin vowed that he would kill Satan. So he went to the True Cross Academy (a mansion-like school) to join Exorcist cram school.

Exorcists, by the way, are somewhat demon hunters. They're classified based on the way they fight - Aria (fight by reciting verses from the Bible), Doctor (the name says it all), Tamers (tame demons for combat), Knight (fights with swords), and Dragoon (fights with guns). If I were an exorcist (if only!), I'm not sure what I would be. Tamer, most likely. Being Knight and Dragoon would be the stuff of my dreams. Fumiko might be able to, but I wouldn't. I no stamina/skills for it hahaha

Okay, enough blabbing (though there's more to come).

Reasons why I love this anime so *beep* much.

(in no particular order)

1# The twins' parents had the best relationship in the universe.

You'd think that conceiving Satan's child would mean rape, but it was nothing like that. It was actually the thing of dreams, putting aside the fact that he's the King of all Demons. I loved the whole flash back scene. Yuri is so beautiful, and Satan seems like a different demon (not a person) with her.

2# RIN OKUMURA.

When it comes to guys, you can never go wrong with the stupid, reckless, oblivious one that happens to burst into blue flames on the odd occasion. Not to mention, he cooks food fit in heaven, and he's a caring idiot that would do anything if he thinks it's the right thing to do. It's the bad ass take on knights in shining armor, and there is no damn reason to hate him. My alter-ego agrees. :')

3# It's so cool to see how the exorcists use their powers.

Everything they do is just amazing. Period.

(Those are tamers, btw)

4# Shiemi and Rin's relationship is the cuuuutest. :3

I just WISH something more could have happened during the anime, but I guess I'll leave the rest to my imagination. They're both set for the road to togetherness anyway ;)

5# The epicness that is Shura.

She has the pink/red/blonde hair (which is natural by the way), the white snake familiars, the bad ass demon knife, the insulting, carefree attitude... aiya I could go on and on. I don't know about every other girl, but she's the ultimate role model. Doesn't stand shit from anyone, while still being her own person. Cool is the word. So much admiration for her (L)

Love, Nathalie.

I collect love songs from all over the world.

2011-11-29T13:10:00.000+08:00

And what other better season to celebrate love than Christmas? I'm not a Christian, but I've been celebrating Christmas for as long as I can remember. Every year it's the same. Weeks before the day itself, I go to shopping malls with my grandmother and her sisters, and my cousins. We shop and take photos and gawk at the Christmas decorations. The trees, I love especially; and by the time we're done, we'll all be smiling and laughing, and humming Christmas carols.

But that's just the first part. With all that Christmas spirit installed into ourselves, we rocket-propel (happily with a lot of jokes, because that's what my family is about) to the next mission. Soon everyone will begin scrabbling for the most colorful parts of the newspapers and magazines, and soon I will have to fulfill a few requests for home-made gift tags to put on the gifts, and soon someone will have to run to the store to get another roll of cellophane tape.

There's also tree decorating. My family's tree is small, only up till my waist; but every year, each and every branch has at least one decoration on it, making it possibly the most heavily decorated tree in the universe (metaphorically). One push too heavy would probably result in it falling over, but I can't prove that, because everyone doesn't want to spoil the Christmas mood by pushing the tree over (even my cousins have more sense to avoid that or meet my fist. jk)

And how could I forget the most important thing? For weeks, everyone would come home to the sweet smell of gingerbread, meringues, pies and cakes. Icing nozzles would be brought out, and so would assorted sweets. Batch after batch after batch of baked goods would be baked, and I would be helping and hoping aloud that they would be done with the baking for sales (my grand-aunty does hampers for every festive season) soon. My grand-aunties would laugh, as they do always, at my impatience, and sometimes they offer me extras. So when it comes down to that, it's always beneficial to help out.

The preparation is the fun part, I have to admit, but when Christmas eve arrives, it's even better than waking up knowing it's your birthday. I don't have any religious connection to the meaning of Christmas, even though my name means Christ's birthday, but I still celebrate the spirit of giving. And for me, that's the most important part of Christmas. All our work put in would all come down to that one Christmas eve night at my grand-aunt's house. We would eat, drink and joke, and at a point of time, I would plunk down the piano seat singing and playing out carols until midnight.

The older I get, the shorter the hours to midnight seem. I remember when I was younger, I would just get hyper with all the suspense. The shiny wrappers glistening under the Christmas tree lights - What is behind them? How many are for me? And when the clock strikes midnight, I would almost feel like skipping the hugging and wishing we always do, and just head straight for the tree. As I grow older, I'm prepared to leave the pre-present excitement to my younger relatives.

Christmas is different each year, but the feel to it is the same. Now I haven't yet ventured into the first stage of preparation yet, but the faint Christmas joy is already tingling somewhere in me.

Love, Nathalie.

Do you have an alter ego?

2011-11-27T14:01:00.001+08:00

Fumiko it is. I know Jane wanted me to choose Kioko, which means "meet the world with happiness", but it doesn't ring right with me. Like, that's what Nathalie does you know, meet the world with happiness, and if you think about it deeper, Christ's birthday is a happy day, thus I was born on a day of happiness (metaphorically). If you didn't get that, nevermind.

Anyway, I kind of fell in love with Fumiko at first glance, but I felt that it didn't suit me so much. Come on, child of treasured beauty? Not me. But then I saw it on other sites with other meanings that suited me better. The majority of meanings for Fumiko is, Fumi: the literature, the writing, the sentence. Ko: the child. Altogether, it means scholarly child, but I prefer the broken up meanings more. :)

Reasons I chose Fumiko:
1. You know how much literature means to me, and how much I love it, and also how much I love writing.
2. I originally had Ryu on my list of names (which means "dragon"), but honestly I'm such a klutz that I probably will not have much of a future as a brave, reckless person (like the badass guys I love so much). But Fumiko can be that side of me that escapes into the world of books, into my world, where all dreams come true. I can be whatever I want, anytime and anywhere I want, and I can't do that with Nathalie (because I have a future that I have to jaga). In short, Fumiko is everything I want to be, and cannot be.
3. Fumiko = kirei

Love, Nathalie.

Don't tickle a sleeping dragon.

2011-11-27T13:35:00.000+08:00

Go check it out!

The soft copy of the site (or so that's what they called it on their twitter) looks pretty darn amazing, information-wise. Like Panem October, they could do something about the design, but then again, they don't have the finances to back them up. Considering that, they did a pretty good job :)

Love, Nathalie.

"I'm charmed by you."

2011-11-26T22:10:00.000+08:00

I seriously cannot get this song out of my head!
It's probably what made me like Otoya so much in the first place (L)

Even though I'm watching Blue Exorcist now,

I still can't fully get Uta no Prince-sama out of my head.

Rin Okumura is totally crush-worthy though, in my opinion.

What can I do? I've always had a thing for badass guys.

(Natsu Dragneel included haha)

Love, Nathalie.

"Aiya, why you so clumsy?!"

2011-11-26T21:34:00.000+08:00

This is the story. My grand-aunt turned off the internet in my grand-uncle's house so my Blue Exorcist episode 9 part 2 stopped loading when I was watching it halfway. So once the rain stopped, I went over there to turn it back on. The grass between the two houses were flooded, and it took me a lot of caution to get to the other side without getting my slippers soaked. I made it safely to the other side, being extra careful and all.

So on the way back, my ~~stupid~~ inner self started to get way too ahead of myself, and started jumping over large puddles and such. I was almost to the concrete floor that would lead to my house, with just one last jump. It looked like I could clear it, and I did. Except I forgot the most important part - my ~~asdkajldgjkalskdjasjjkl~~ crocs slippers have no grip whatsoever, so I fell.

And ~~in the most dumb way ever,~~ instead of falling on my behind (the safest way to fall ever), I stopped myself from slipping any further with my knee. And I was wearing shorts, and my knee just happened to land on that stone decoration many houses insist on having so the concrete won't look so plain, and I just happened to by sliding so badly that my knees got scraped while trying to stop myself.

I think my sister was more pitiful than I was. She just has this thing where she can't leave a person who's injured, but moans like she's the one in pain when she sees it. So instead of feeling sorry for yourself, you would have to feel sorry for her. It works though, depends on how you look at it.

Thus, my grandmother applied some of her magical "pigeon oil" (because it has a picture of a pigeon as the logo, it's quite a legend in my family) on the wound, and I guess it should be better by tomorrow. At least now I have a story to tell when more of my relatives arrive tomorrow. The story would be followed by a lot of "aiya"s and "you ah"s, I'm pretty certain of it.

Love, Nathalie.

Greetings from another state.

2011-11-26T14:39:00.000+08:00

I scream for ice-cream!

My grand-aunt just drove my grandmother and I over to the sundry shop. One of the reasons why I love coming down to Malacca, because a sundry shop is in walking distance, and we always, always stock up loads and loads of ice-cream, and coconuts if there are any. It's the ultimate thing to eat especially in this hot weather, though it's been raining lately. Like just now, the rain fell heavy and silent (somehow). Thank goodness the rain here doesn't come hand in hand with thunder, otherwise the internet would go bust, and I can't go over to my grand-uncle's house when it's raining. (I'm using his internet mahhhhh)

I'll blog again later on, gonna watch the new Fairy Tail episooooode!

Love, Nathalie.

It's all the dreams that never came true.

2011-11-25T17:17:00.000+08:00

The most ironic thing is girls always dream of perfect situations,

when he says one sentence that changes everything,

or when he leans in for a peck on the lips,

and then they imagine how they would react to it,

gently put her fingers to her lips?

look up to him with those adoring eyes and secret smiles?

But when it really happens,

they shun away,

they think of everything it wouldn't be,

instead of everything it could be,

they let go, then they cry,

then after a few weeks of moaning and wishing,

it starts all over again.

And if it doesn't,

guess who's complaining?

Love, Nathalie.

It's the girl you let get away.

2011-11-25T16:32:00.000+08:00

Necromancy: A claimed form of magic that involves communication with the deceased, either by summoning their spirit in a form of an apparition or raising them bodily, for the purpose of divination, imparting the ability to foretell future events or discover hidden knowledge. The term may sometimes be used in a more general sense to refer to black magic or witchcraft.

P.S. Interested ever since Skulduggery.

Love, Nathalie.

I was born in the arms of imaginary friends.

2011-11-25T16:27:00.000+08:00

Stuck on a boy who brings you such joy.

2011-11-25T16:02:00.000+08:00

SO MUCH LOVE FOR THESE GUYS.
I have officially (if I haven't already) entered FULL OTAKU FANGIRL STAGE. Hahahaha, I know Jane reached here faster than I did, but now we're in the same boat. For you people who have never experienced this, I pity you. For it is love to the highest degree a person can ever go to. It's unconditional, swoon-worthy, and it just elevates your mood like a rocket to the moon (that rhymes!) It's as addictive as a drug, makes you high like laughter can, but a million times better. Sighhh it can turn cynical me into a melted puddle.

My absolute favorites have to be Otoya Ittoki, Natsuki/Satsuki Shinomiya and Shou Kurusu. I can't really choose between them, and the others are all so hot, that you can't help but love them all. Wait, I show you.

Meet Otoya Ittoki.
I'm starting to think I have a serious infatuation with red heads. The first time I saw him on the anime, I knew he would be a favorite. Actually, even before that I knew. I hope so much that he ends up with Nanami. Even though Tokiya is the most likely, I can tell that Otoya really, really likes her by the way they both said that sentence: "I love... the music you make." Tokiya said it like he meant it, but Otoya said it like he wanted to say something else that he can't say because of the no romance rule. hmmmmm

Natsuki/Satsuki Shinomiya
Sooo why the slash? Actually, Natsumi's the one wearing the Piyo-chan hat, and Satsuki's the one in the cracked glass. They're both the same person, but Satsuki only makes an appearance when Natsumi takes off his glasses. True otakus would know that it's not that weird, this happening. After all, loads of animes have characters with... weird conditions :B I happen to love his split personality (in a quite obsessive way), though Jane thinks it's creepy ;)

Shou Kurusu!
One word: KAWAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII
Another word: Kesian.
You watch the anime, and you'll understand.
But there's more to him than it seems (L)

Ichinose Tokiya AKA (slightly psychotic-looking) Hayato-sama!
Jane's favorite, the mysterious, cold types that have a soft spot. Her words. As for me, the thing that really attracted me has to be his singing. Feeling Heart is such a good song, especially when he reaches the chorus. Still, I don't love him as much as Jane does ;) He is daaaaamn good looking though.

Masato Hijirikawa.
His family name is so confusing :S He's like the serious one among the lot, and he hardly ever smiles. Another one of Jane's favorites, but even I was touched at his soft spot for Nanami. I got a feeling there's much more to him than the anime shows. Another reason why this deserves a second season, but then, a lot of animes deserve a second season that they never get :(

Ren Jinguji
Imagine this guy in real life or just in front of you, it's like instant exposure to the sun. He has a pretty bad attitude, but usually playboys have really bad (yet insanely attractive) attitudes. Also, he can play the saxophone - my dream instrument! Yeah, there's just something about bad boys that attract something in each girl.

PIYO-CHAN KAWAAAAAAIIII

Love, Nathalie. :3

Your light is ultraviolet.

2011-11-24T17:45:00.000+08:00

My family is going to be caroling this year, for the stroke patients at NASAM. I just found out about it today, so the plans are that I'm going to be playing the piano and harmonizing, while my younger relatives do what they do best - sing on tune and be cute. lol sounds like it's going to be a lot of fun, actually. I'm going to start practicing once I get the song list from my grand-aunt.

I've got other things to work on too.Yesterday I sent a whole bunch of pdf files to my mom for her to print out. All piano sheets of pieces from animes. Animes have the BEST soundtracks, I swear. I got some from Angel Beats!, Clannad, Fate/Stay Night, Howl's Moving Castle, Fairy Tail.. and once I'm done with Uta no Prince-sama, I'll get started on that too. *rubs palms together* this is going to be a lot of fun :)

Love, Nathalie.

Same old, same old.

2011-11-24T13:15:00.002+08:00

I remember feeling-

2011-11-23T18:08:00.000+08:00

This was the story of my life for the past few years.

I've been trying too hard to achieve things that didn't really matter,

until I lost sight of all the things that really did.

There's a difference between being happy, and working towards happiness.

The old monk in Hector and the Search for Happiness was right.

Many people make the mistake of thinking that happiness is the goal.

Love, Nathalie.

This is the hardest story I've ever told.

2011-11-23T17:19:00.000+08:00

Dangos will always have a special place in my heart after this anime.

Love, Nathalie.

I don't know how I'll make it through this.

2011-11-23T17:06:00.000+08:00

Can't replace you with a million rings.

2011-11-23T15:30:00.002+08:00

Once we checked in, we went to the floating market.

Floating markets are all over Thailand, actually, since there are many rivers.

So if you're ever in Thailand and there's a floating market nearby, you should go.

Not so much for the absorption of culture, but more for the food, food, FOOD.

When it's your first time at a floating market, everything is pretty damn amazing.

It's quite hard to imagine arranging trays and pots and cooking things on the spot (it rhymes) on a boat.

What with the water jerking everything around and the chances of everything dropping into the water being extremely high. But somehow they've done it, and they do it wearing their prettiest clothes (most of the boat-keepers are women). It's like every day is raya for them.

There's this drink thing that seems like it was created to target the money in tourists' pockets, but it's quite a good idea. You pay about 20 baht (there might be another zero behind that, but I can't be sure) and you choose a drink and a cup design. They fill your clay cup with the drink, then you take it and keep the cup. I chose an adorable elephant one that I haven't took a picture of. meh lazy haha

And the food, well, they seem to have a tradition of coloring their food really weirdly to the point of not being appetizing. But the food at the boats are mainly for show I guess. They look good, but don't taste as good as they look. My dad even got conned into buying a hot dog, but it was really a rice dog. As in, he bit into it and it was actually rice packed together and fried so it looks like a hot dog from far.

Scary.

The food at the markets above the river were much more worth it, in my opinion.

The picture above is this yogurt ice-cream thing that didn't really start off as something cold. You choose your ingredients, and they pour it onto a cold plate (instead of a hot plate, see) and mash it around until it's paste-y like ice-cream. Then they scrape it up into rolls like that and pass it to you. When you put it into your mouth, it tastes like really cold chewing gum at first, then it melts and it tastes like ice-cream.
Really, really nice. (L)

And the fried stuff! So unhealthy, but so so so so heavenly!

In the picture is fried egg with different seafood thrown in with it, so turns out like fried oyster, but instead with prawns and sotong etc. There was also fried chicken skin (gorge), and fried chicken, and fried.... everything!

Just in case you're wondering, there was also fried insects.

Because what would a tourist market in Thailand be without fried stuff of a variety? ;)
I know we halfway ate maggots in prefects camp this year, and some people also said it tasted like fish balls at the market, but all I did was stand around and take photos. Heh, I think you would do the same, non?

...and that's (almost) everyone who went for the trip.

From the top left: Teng Ee, Edna, Bao Ee, my mom, Dua Ee, me, my dad.

From bottom left: Suan Ee, Nicholas, Yean Ee, Tasha.

Uncle Eric and Uncle John were taking the photos, I think.

The first day's weather was amazing, but with the floods happening, you can't expect it to last like that forever. The next day it rained on and off since morning, so we took the toot toot/tut tut (the mini van thing in the photo) to a market. The difference about markets in Malaysia and markets in Hat Yai is our markets are usually outdoor and they're only there for a few hours, while the markets in Hat Yai are all under a large roof, so when you step in, it's like a open air shopping mall minus the air conditioning. The roads between the stalls are tiny and cramped, and a person could get lost in there.

They sell everything from dried seafood,

to chickens (for some reason their feet stick up),

to live fish you can pick and have it kill on the spot,

to clothes and shoes and bags as far as the eye can see.

We spent quite some time at places like that market, and we also ventured into some shopping malls.

Other than that, eating, and sleeping, we didn't do much at all.
It was mostly a shopping/relaxing sort of holiday.

Not very fulfilling, but very satisfying.

Love, Nathalie.

P.S. Watched the Malaysia-Indonesia match on tv too. Haha, Thai announcers are funny, because they sound like they're speaking a dialect half of the time.
P.P.S. This is my 1000th post! :)

How can I love when I'm afraid to fall?

2011-11-23T13:35:00.000+08:00

Tears were in my eyes, and tears are seldom in my eyes.

Love, Nathalie.

"I love Saber."

2011-11-22T22:25:00.002+08:00

I used to watch this anime on Animax, but I only watched it when I stumbled onto it after watching something else, so when I re-watched it, it was like my first time watching it. In fact, it's nothing like I remembered it to be at all. Makes me think that I mistook it, or mixed it up with Tsubasa Chronicles. lol but it's a good anime. Not as amazing as Fairy Tail, nor as touching as Angel Beats! (or Clannad), but still worth watching.

I feel a bit weird about it, honestly. The idea of the whole show just can't settle in me. It's either I haven't thought about it enough, or the story didn't go deep enough. I don't know, that's why I was thinking about watching Fate/Zero (which is the prequel) just to grasp the idea a little further. (most people would just watch it because it's the prequel) Looks like Uta no Prince-sama will have to wait (aww)

edit: Fate/Zero is not finished yet! And I'm not in the mood for waiting, so I'm going to watch Uta no Prince-sama first, then other animes, then I'll watch Fate/Zero once it's done :)

Back on the FSN track, Ilya is batshit crazy, but she's so pretty, but so annoying!

Can't decide if I love her or hate her hahahaha

And omg, I've been looking around for figurines of the animes that I watch, but I can't seem to find any! There's loads of One Piece ones, but nothing else is consistent. And the PRICE. My mom would fly through the roof if she heard the prices, but a part of me might be willing to pay that price.

What to do? Hardcore otaku in the house.

Plus, how can you say no to this adorableness?!

OR THIS AWESOMENESS.

I don't think any of you guys watch Fairy Tail, do you?

Those are Lucy's keys! She uses them to summon spirits from the spirit world to fight for her.

asdfghjkl they are exactly like the ones in the anime.

I WANT THEM SO BAD.

But they must cost a bomb D:

And where would I find something as awesome as that?!

Maybe Bangkok. hm

Love, Nathalie.

No one knows what the future holds.

2011-11-22T20:31:00.000+08:00

One of my first thoughts as we were heading to our hotel, was how Hat Yai reminded me so much of Malacca. It had the old buildings, and the people walking or cycling around. It didn't look like a city that was filled with much wealth or glamour, but it had it's own charm. Like Uncle John had said, the difference between Malaysians and the people in Hat Yai, is that the people there live life in presence, while we live for the future. The people there were much more poor, but they looked content, and they had pride in what they did (some to the point of being scary).

My time spent in Hat Yai didn't check any items off my list of things to do, or things to buy, but it was satisfying all the same. I'll tell you about the things we did tomorrow. I'll upload the photos then. It's good to be back :)

Love, Nathalie.

I'm not afraid of anything anymore.

2011-11-20T08:52:00.000+08:00

See you in three days, mate!

Love, Nathalie.

I'm standing under a white flag.

2011-11-18T19:07:00.000+08:00

I really feel like I should be blogging 10 times more than usual (which is a lot, you should know) since I won't be able to blog for at least 2 days when I'm in Hat Yai. What a tragedy, non? I'm going to miss blogging while I'm away, since my family doesn't quite get it when I start talking in 'blogger mode'. Actually, no one does. It makes more sense on paper/megapixels anyways. Thank goodness I'm going to bring a notebook around everywhere to write things down, otherwise I would either be very bored, or I would have a hard time trying to remember everything to write down later.

My relatives have been scaring me with ideas of next year. Who knew such an innocent question about Fraser's Hill would lead to this? We came to the conclusion that the world will probably not come to an end, but a lot of people would die, and it will be positively horrible because we'll be 'halfway there' AKA wanting to die but not being able to die.

My relatives can be such pessimists sometimes -.- but they're right to worry. After all, one day the ground under us might just crumble away and we all fall into a pit of lava (the core of the Earth). Yeah, it's in the genes. One half of me is thinking of how scary it would be, and how much I just want everything to stay the same for years to come; the other half of me is thinking how my chance has come to live the adventures of everything I've read about. Stupid, I know.

On a much, much, much positive note (because I'm going to eat dinner soon and I'm hungry and I feel obliged to leave you on a happy note), I can't wait to go to Hat Yai because shopping there is a breeeeeeeze. I can't describe the joy of moving the decimal dot/spot/damniforgot one figure back, so 100 baht would be RM10. I love Thailand :')

Love, Nathalie.

All the weak can get to prison.

2011-11-18T12:07:00.000+08:00

TODAY'S THE DAY!

I'm so excited for the reapings that it's unnatural.

After all, it's supposed to be a day of death contract signings.

But whatever. I can get depressed later. For now, look!

These are the dates set for the reapings.

So the careers get their's done today, huh?

No doubt it's a honorable thing for them, asses.

D9 and D10 is on the same day, so Jane and I will be "reaped" on the same day after all!

Don't know whether to be excited or fearful hahaha

I'm not sure if I'll be here for the reapings though

Hat Yai remember?

but it's the day I'll be back, so I guess I'll be fine.

Other than that...
asdfghjklsjdfksldhsdgjkl right?

Well, at least we get to choose our jobs, even though there wasn't much choice.

For me, it was either Tiller, Sower, Reaper, Soil Nutrition, and... something else that wasn't important enough for me to remember.

Soooo, I thought about it for quite some time.

I even asked my sister, but she didn't understand. lol

I finally decided that I would rather collect the harvest than plant them

(it was between sower or reaper)

Also, obviously it's cool to have a job that is just one word to Grim Reaper ;)

I'm a paid reaper.

Damn that sounds so cool :B

Love, Nathalie.

All the changes drive us back to see.

2011-11-18T11:15:00.000+08:00

This is Jane Ng Sweet Jieng.

We go way back to the days when we would sneak up to the music room to play the piano. Self proclaimed boyish girls, music freaks; well, we've changed so much since then, but so many things still remain, and it's those things that brought us together again even after all these years. I still remember that day, I was so bored with no company that I decided to invite Jane over for our first sleepover. The rest, they say, is history.

These days, I can't imagine what it would be like to not have her in my life. There are some things that I only can run to her with, and if she weren't there, who would I go to? Subconsciously, she became more than just someone I knew from primary school, or someone I used to hang out with. She became someone that would understand me, and be there for me. Someone who really knew the meaning of friendship, and someone that I could trust unconditionally.

One thank you wouldn't be enough, nor would one wish, but I really pray that she will have an amazing birthday. May lady luck shine on you today, for happiness and all your dreams to come true (and you know when it comes to dreams, I'm deadly serious). Not to mention, you'll need the luck for the reapings later. ;)

May the odds be ever in your favor. Happy birthday, Jane :)

Love, Nathalie.

Who needs the disappointment of a telephone call?

2011-11-17T11:56:00.000+08:00

I really hate it when 'that time of the month' comes.

I'm exhausted from lack of sleep last night,

and I'm so tempted to take something, anything that will help me rest in peace.

(no, not that way)

And I really, really hope that my cousin and her friend doesn't come and disturb me today.

I will probably rip their tiny heads off.

Especially after they destroyed my alien dango. grr

Other than that, I'm perfectly fine.

Love, Nathalie.

They're killing me with friendly fire.

2011-11-16T20:05:00.000+08:00

Reminds me why I love Tumblr so much.

Makes me think about how much I hate people that try to spread Tumblr in Facebook.

Makes me wish that they will never, ever stumble upon Tumblr if they still love Facebook more.

Makes me feel like eating a taco, mostly.

Love, Nathalie.

Falling on our knees.

2011-11-16T19:04:00.000+08:00

Just finished watching Angel Beats! I never realized how similar it was to Clannad. Even when it was sad from the start, I never really felt remorse, just hope. But now that it's finally ended, it's like my heart wants to burst into a million pieces from all this emotion. I feel like crying because they had to part, and that it ended that way, but I'm so happy for them at the same time. And I never realized how much fate played a part in the big scheme of things.

Love, Nathalie.

I want a library full of our stories.

2011-11-16T14:53:00.000+08:00

I have an old Eclipse container next to me, it's filled with little bits of paper that should be thicker than transparent. The bits of paper are folded as neatly as I could manage, and in them are names of my adult relatives (with the exception of Aunty Su Yen because she doesn't like being old enough to be counted as an adult, and everyone would give her a gift anyways). They're going to pick a name out of the box and be that person's Secret Santa.

One year, the adults got together and decided to do this to economize. Actually, I think they're just lazy to buy gifts for everyone. I like buying gifts for people, so I don't see their dilemma (except the money bit, because that I can understand). The presents under the tree don't change much in quantity, since the presents before were mainly for the kids (never have I been so thankful to still be a kid), and still are. The only thing the Secret Santa deal changed was the confirmation of everyone getting at least one gift. Not that anyone went without gifts, but it's nice to have a confirmation, I guess.

Oh, we also started wrapping our gifts in newspaper. Mostly because we all tear the wrapping paper anyway, so we might as well wrap it in something recyclable. It's been two years since we started that, but I still like the idea of it. It's a test of creativity, y'know? Use the most colorful parts of the news, only wrap the top of the box, tie them up with ribbons, that sort of thing.

But gifts is only just one aspect of Christmas that I love. Don't wanna bore you by going on and on, since I'll probably blog about it later on. Til then.
Love, Nathalie.

If you're not here, I'm living life without you.

2011-11-15T20:33:00.000+08:00

"I like people too much, or not at all."

- Sylvia Plath.

Don't know what you got until it's gone.

2011-11-15T20:21:00.000+08:00

This looks like one of those places that I could get lost in, but with a purpose. Like, I could either be climbing up a treacherous mountain to see that guy who sits on the top of mountains and utters wise words from tumblr and facebook. Or, I could be searching for a lost species of... bird? If you think on the cooler side, I could be saving an entire city of little people from being buried in snow. Yeah, all I need is to escape this mundane life that consists of butt-on-spinning-chair action and finger-aches from typing. A life of adventure is all I need, and almost all I've ever wanted.

Love, Nathalie.

The fire you ignited.

2011-11-15T17:15:00.000+08:00

District 9 represent.

Plenty of girls and boys in love.

2011-11-15T17:06:00.002+08:00

This will one day come in handy.

Talk about our future, like we had a clue.

2011-11-15T17:04:00.000+08:00

I'm going to Hat Yai this Sunday - Tuesday with my mother's side of the family. I've never been to Hat Yai before so I'm not exactly sure what to expect. What I'm hoping is, there will be a lot of history, and myths, and stories. One of my dream jobs is to become a historian (successfully without boring myself to death), after all.

Partly because of that, I'll be bringing around a notebook and a good pen, just to write thoughts or facts down. It's always so tiring to try and remember everything to write down later, so I might as well write it down there and then. Screw all the little details about making my book dirty and all the other things I was afraid of in the past. I think it would be nice to entrap some Hat Yai air and dirt within the pages of my book. Wasn't there something like that in Inkheart? Something about books trapping little bits of memory wherever you go. It's a nice idea, and Reanuga would be proud of my ever going journalism haha.

I'm not sure what story book I should bring along yet, since my mom asked me to bring one. I was thinking of the Mistress of Spices. Heard of it? Actually, you might have heard of the movie, which I used to love back in primary school. It was always showing on tv and my dad would always watch it. It's a good film, and I'm not expecting less from the book. Plus, it's paperback. So, I guess that would be my choice. Unless I decide to bring My 3 Husbands, which is smaller and lighter, but my aunties would all disapprove. Heh, I'd better not.

I just realized all my plans have been for unnecessary items. What am I going to wear?! *panics*

Love, Nathalie.

C-O-C-O-N-U-T

2011-11-15T16:33:00.002+08:00

The arc of the universe is a long one but it bends towards justice.

I wanna write about setting something free.

2011-11-15T13:21:00.000+08:00

It's always been a dream of mine, to escape the pollution and the hot sun, and retreat into the mountains for eternity. There's something so enchanting in waking up shivering in the morning mist, taking slow morning walks to the village, looking out the window to greenery as far as the eye can see. No cars would be honking, nor the sound of construction, just crickets and birds. Spending the rest of my days leisurely and lazily. No responsibilities, no trouble, no more headaches over trivial things. I could even leave all civilization behind, entertainment would be reading, writing, creating music that would echo throughout the valleys. I do think company is something I would miss, so why not bring my whole family with me? It would be like an extended trip to Fraser's Hill. Nothing but laughs and movies, games and food. The best thing would be going to sleep, knowing that your biggest threat would be insects making too much of a home in your house. Why would a burglar find the need to rob a house that has nothing much of value except to be a place of relaxation and enjoyment? Sleep would be peaceful, without the need of ionizers or air conditioners, and waking up would be even better. The meals would be large and plentiful, for the cold air harness a large appetite. Air would be clear and fresh, breathing would be a pleasure compared to the dull and thick air here. I try to close my eyes and imagine what the air would feel like in my lungs, and if I fall asleep during that time, I might just wake up in the place where I want to be the most.

Love, Nathalie.

Don't need make-up, to cover up.

2011-11-15T13:01:00.000+08:00

Pretty much all the time, in my case.

But it's who I am, y'know?

You saved my life again.

2011-11-15T12:58:00.002+08:00

Even the ones that think they're better off alone.

Love, Nathalie.

"They just want a good show, that's all they want."

2011-11-14T23:00:00.000+08:00

The first comment on the Youtube video was "Is it totally lame that I cried after watching this? It looks so perfect. really.", and the one immediately after that was "god bless youtube." The ones following that were along the lines of "My jaw dropped." and "OMG I CRIED" Nothing like your fellow fans telling it like it is. Seriously though, there is nothing compared to sitting down and just watching that one life-changing book being played out so perfectly. And it's only one movie so far! I feel a little teary now, half relief and half ecstasy, I think. I'm just so incredibly thankful that it will turn out nothing like the Twilight saga. Jennifer Lawrence, Josh Hutcherson and Liam Hensworth are doing their characters justice. So proud of them :')

Love, Nathalie.

Never really had luck.

2011-11-14T17:15:00.000+08:00

I just can't wait for Pottermore to be released. They're really being a beech (yes, I'm aware that's a tree) for no opening it for registration yet. It's even worse cause there's so many people in due to early access already. Maybe if I read all the books then they'll open it up for me. Maybe, but I'm waiting to get the whole book set from Borders. Or wherever my mom and sister saw it that day.

Also, OMG TODAY IS THE RELEASE FOR THE TRAILER OF THE HUNGER GAMES. (but y'know, we asian fangirls can't see it until tomorrow asdfghjkl)

Just tired of waiting for Angel Beats to loaddddd
Love, Nathalie.